Apocalypse Go Bag
Interesting?, Movies/TV 2

Apocalypse Go Bag

Happy 4th of July from Fussie and me!!! When we were thinking about what to do for our independence day post we hemmed and hawed over Uncle Sam, or Will Smith in white face but then it hit us! Who is more patriotic than those people who call themselves survivalists. So after the initial discussion Fussie and I decided that in the case of the apocalypse we would go our separate ways, and I imagined what I would put in my Apocalypse Go Bag.


First things first, the actual Apocalypse Go Bag is my favorite Hermes baby backpack in classic Hermes orange, or hunting orange for these purposes.

1.) Is my lucky brass elephant, if ever one has needed luck…

2.) A lint brush I stole from the Saint Regis, I expect a lot of dust in the apocalypse.

3.) Cartier travel alarm clock, for keeping watch and what not.

4.) Smythson’s journal. In case things turn around I want to Anne Frank this mother-fucker.

5.) Cigarettes and a lite- duh.

6.) The actual aforementioned Apocalyptic Go Bag.

7.) Shiseido chapstick, it’s gonna be dry.

8.) Personal stationery and business cards- you never know.

9.) l.a. Eyeworks sunglasses and a pair of specs there’s gonna be a lot of sun and I prefer my face in specs.

10.) Diptyque Baies candle for light.


11.) Church’s evening slippers- better to have and not need than need and not have.

12.) A knife for protection.

13.) Salvatore Ferragamo leather bracelet in the box, for trading or as a thank you gift.

14.)MCM sleep mask, I’m a terrible sleeper.

15.)Sage for burning to clear evil spirits.

16.) Frederique Constant pink gold smartwatch, to track my steps and sleep without an awful looking Fitbit.

17.) My homemade refreshing mist- witch hazel and tea tree oil. Nothing better. NOTHING!

18.) My prescriptions obvi.

19.) My phone.

20.) Backup phone.

21.) Leather shoe horn I stole from the Plaza Atheneee Paris when no one was looking.

21.) Linen pajamas from Tani NYC, still a bad sleeper.


Upon closer reflection, I am 100% at peace with the fact that I would be in the first wave of people that are killed or die off. I didn’t even head for higher ground during Sandy. I just figured this is it, and waited for death. I’m not a fighter you see. I’m a millennial, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

For my hypothetical Apocalypse Go Bag look, I kept it simple and comfortable. First off, any excuse to wear Tevas is good for me! The sweat pants are probably Champion, and the t-shirt is Margaret Howell. The over shirt is Junya Wantanabe MAN Comme Des Garcons, and the sunglasses are by Polette.



If the apocalypse is coming, make sure you have an Apocalypse Go Bag ready on the off chance you team up with someone who’s desire to live is stronger than mine. Happy 4th of JULY!!!


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  • Allison says: July 1, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    This is so fucking good lol

  • Joe says: July 1, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Matthew you’re hilarious

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