Haven’t you always dreamt of waking up looking flawless like Gary Cooper? Having a lovely cup of coffee on the lanai? Maybe peruse the latest SkyMall? But, when you finally make it all happen you end looking like a gayer version of Liberachi? Anyway- I Woke Up Like This.
As my escape to Mother’s continues I try try regain some of the dignity New York City has stripped me of. Not too much need for a collection of cravats and smoking robes- really more of a jeans/hoodie/Air Max place- so the change was welcomed.
I owned the basics, Derek Rose silk robe, from the Harvey Nichols annual sale. White oxford shirt from Brooks Brothers and the shoes are run-of-the-mill Cole Haan. Now the scarf if from Hermes (duty-free in Saint Barth’s) The glasses are mine and from Stella McCartney. Now- if you look closely here you can see a string of large Mikimoto White South Sea pearls. If mother saw that or the Van Cleef cocktail ring I swiped she would be livid, but the real theft here was the use of Ethel (the miserable Yorkshire Terrier next me). That little monster is as manipulative as she is cruel. But I needed a stand in for Fussie. The watch is Hermes.
Do you know what it takes to I Woke Up Like This? First of all, Beyonce lied to us. She might look good when she wakes up- but not this polished. I was in the chair at 5 am- as the phrase goes.
Anyway, back to SkyMall- just pop life-sized in the search bar and prepared to swoon. I’m hoping to capture the dignity of fiberglass life-sized Great White Shark in these pictures.
So stay tuned because this tale is just beginning to be told. A gown ass man raiding his mother’s closet…
-I Woke Up Like This